Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Training Camp Diary 30 July 2007

My only friend

Dear diary,

Ran out of mean things to say about the Redskins so I thought I would write to you about training camp. I'm going there next week, so I promise to put some pictures in your pages.

I'm very happy Redskins training camp is here but it's the kind of happy like when my junky friend comes back into town after alomst a year. The needle hurts and I vomit but you still forget how much you loved it.

27 July 2007 (PDF)
Todd Collins is so out and Casey Bramlet and Jordan Palmer are both so in. Jordan will land on the practrice squad and Casey will back up Mark Brunell which I think is a bad idea because the fans turned on Mark about four games into last season and the Redskins should get what value they can for him because Todd is not worth a Happy Meal. What the team should do it jettisun Mark and keep Casey and Jordan with Todd as the game-injury fill-in and so-called elder of the Al Saunder's 700-page syringe. Let's be real about it, 2007 is all about Jason Campbell and if he goes down then the season is over so let's see what Casey and Jordan can do because the future is coming nad Todd is no more than a coach in pads which is kind noble yet sad.

Shades, what do the Redskins need with another receiver? Don't they already have enough guys that don't catch the ball? Corey Bradford only appeared in 9 games and caught 14 passes for 164 yards last season. I think Brandon Lloyd's got that line covered!

28 July 2007 (PDF)
Carlos Rogers is dreamy but Fred Smoot makes me laugh. I can't make up my mind! But since Shawn Springs has more defective part and a worse warranty (hello India!) then my Dell I think they should both pretend they will be startign. I already called the Dandy and the Odyseey and told them not to let Fred on board (j/k! luv ya!) and I bought some really soft mango butter cream for Carlos's hands but I um, tried it out and now I have to keep it.

London Fletcher-Baker is a diamond hard piece of asswhooping clothesline with the rage virus. I can;t wait for him to meet Tony Romo and Eli Manning (lol). And I'm not surte Tony Gonzalez is the right analogy yet for Chris Cooley but the guy can catch and run. I hope the Redskins make a move and keep him longterm. Randy Thomas being out worries me, like when I order another drink right before dricving home. I know I'll probly be all right but I'm winging it.

29 July 2007 (PDF)
It makes no sense to me to talk about Kedric Golston vs. Joe Salave'a vs. Anthony Montgomery at defensive tackle. JOe was the starter in 2006 then was displaced in the stating lineup before midseason by Kedric and Anthony started all of one game. I guess you have to have a competition but if last season was any indication, old Joe got his ass kicked by Kedric and Anthony is a future journeyman. I think the Redskins are the same or better everywhere but defensive line. They did nothing this offseason and keep this to yoursefl diary, but I'd run all over the Redskins in 2007. Whoever is in the backfield, give him the ball and send him off tackle every play.

It's nice to see LaRon Landry signed and Omar Stoutmire and Pierson Prioleau back, now that the Redskins have like 1000 safeties. Maybe Omar can put on 150 lbs, grow six inches and play d-line and maybe Pierson will take care of his person. I heard sometimes at practice, to be sure the players are playing right that Joe Gibbs soaks the balls...in tears.

30 July 2007
Marcus Washington pees fairy dust and Roger Goodell has a $1000 a day habit of the stuff. I think the hip injury was bee-ess, and that Roger had Marcus in his basement with the gimp.

Here's the Redskins training camp roster. I note that not only is Jimmy Farris not on this list, there is a guy named Burl on it.

I love the Redskins but this dude is totally fair weather. A real fan would put Heath Shuler up there with, right along with Michael Westbrook and Tom Carter.

Al Saunders' playbook has gone from 700 pages to an unknown number (maybe a secret?) and the offesne has gone from so complex the players couldn't understand it last year to so easy even a blogger gets it. This concerns me.

I can't believe Chris Samuels is 30. Our little boy, all grown up. But motherflubber if this doesn't suck. And all it took to get Joe Theismann to come back and hang out at Redskins Park was getting fired.

If Mike Sellers can show up lighter than last season with blond hair on his face then Brandon Lloyd can show up heavier than last season with a pointed head.

Ok diary, check ya 2morrow. I got to go keep it real with the missus.

Image from here, and feel free to click through and read this creepy thing.