Gotta be quicker than this to catch pigs and dodge batteries
Lifetime Eagles fan, season ticketholder and Curly R reader/lurker Wilbert Montgomery, in an effort to get me off the couch, off the sauce and back on my meds, pointed me to a post on the great blog of Philadelphia sports and rightwing conservative Christianity, The 700 Club Level about the Eagles new quarterback Kevin Kolb. He's already got a nickname: Hog Killer.
Seems Mr. Texan Kevin likes to go out into the mesquite with a pair of hounds and a 12-inch Bowie knife and hunt wild hogs. Anyone that read Old Yeller (btw Donovan McNabb's new nickname) knows those wild hogs are some dangerous motherfuckers, so that makes his dogs really brave. Kevin lets the dogs chase 'em to ground and then comes in and guts them in the dirt. And he does not think this is a strange habit or indicative of some deep psychosis. How this and shooting Bambi squares with his 'Christian upbringing,' it's all very confusing to me. I don't remember Jesus strapping on a high-cal rifle, dousing himself in deer urine and feces and squatting for hours just to get The Shot
The Eagles surprised me when they used their first draft pick two weeks ago on Kevin, former University of Houston Cougars quarterback. Dono is not done yet and second round is a high pick to spend on a player you are not sure will be a starter. Wilbert Montgomery tells me Kevin was the Eagles' highest-rated QB left on the board and so they jumped. Mel Kiper disagreed, saying Kevin was overrated and behind at least three other QBs on his board. Mel's assessment of Kevin is that he is a 'system QB,' producing his gaudy numbers as a result of the Cougars' wide open system (first installed by former Redskins and Oilers coach Jack Pardee -- oooh the teases are getting bad) and not because of his talent. History tends to bear him out: Andre Ware and David Klingler ran the Cougar spigot and when they got the bigs could not replicate.
In any event, this will put some pressure on Dono. No more Koy Detmers, no more AJ Feeleys or Jerry Jeff Garcias, no more stopover QBs intended to stop the bleeding when Dono goes down. Now the (eventual) number two guy is a legitimate possible starter, drafted high onto a team that prides itself on spotting talent and locking it up long term.
Given the now-hilarious chatter about whether 36-year old Jeff Garcia should remain the Eagles starter over Dono, what's the over-under on the number of games before the Philadephia Inquirer wonders aloud if a change is in order?
And props to Enrico at The 700 Club Level for this:
At least if [Kevin]'s pissed off at Eagles fans for booing him he won't have his mom go whine on her blog. Kevin Kolb will just go kill a pig and fry up some scrapple.
Outstanding.
Houston Cougar Kevin Kolb: uncredited photo from here.
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