Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Hey Stu! When You're in a Hole, Stop Digging.

On the unlimited text-massaging plan

Curly R was going to let this go, but lifetime Eagles fan, season ticket holder and Curly R reader/lurker Wilbert Montgomery pointed out a piece on Boiled Sports assailing ESPN's Stuart Scott completely disingenuous interview with Dan Steinberg.

Years ago (like 1992 or 1993) I read an interview with Bob Ley or Charlie Steiner about how when he go home he don't watch sports, he don't watch sports on the weekend when not working and he don't talk sports at coketail parties at he country club in Bristol Connecticut. Basically he don't give a shit about sports except when he in the anchor chair.

I'm not sure who he was pandering to, maybe the wife, in love with his money but haranguing him at home to take out the trash and change a diaper, maybe the old money country clubmates he was trying so hard to impress that laugh quietly at the silly man that reads words into a TV camera, who knows maybe he just had done sports so long that he hated it, like how John Holmes got sick of screwing on camera.

Whatever, us sports fans in TV land live for the illusion. When I think of Ron Jaworski, I like the thought of Ron, eating a cheesesteak, dripping meat juice onto a yellowing wifebeater in a dingey cinder block basement by the flickering light of a film projector, endlessly looping perfectly executed Peyton Manning play-action fakes, muttering that no one understands, no one know what it all means, alientated from his coworkers like a mad genius, befriending the mildly retarded runner shuttling film back and forth, Steve Sabol outside screaming I'M NOT GOING TO TELL THAT MOTHERFUCKER AGAIN TO STOP HORDEING TOM BRADY FILM!!

In reality, I am sure he takes a limo into work, has a huge staff that writes his copy, guides him toward the best and worst QB play of the week and has a crew of unpaid interns to review tape while he sips mocha and stares longingly into a mirror in his corner office.

But I've never heard an interview with Ron saying he despises today's quarterbacks or that film is his day job or that he is impervious to outside influence. Why? Because he's a FOOTBALL PLAYER and he knows that all I care about, all that matters to me is the football, not him, not his world, not his daughter or his fucking dog, just the football. The minute he steps outside football he might as well be an evangelical grocery-bagger with mommy issues.

So it was with this displeasure that I read that Stuart Scott not only doesn't read sports blogs, he can't name one. Seriously? Not even Deadspin? That site gets 140 thousand hits a day and writes in a satirical style that Stuart himself employs. This also happens to be the site that caught him allegedly setting up a booty call with a Broncos cheerleader, a story he called 'a bunch of crap. A bunch of lies.' Sounds like a response this blog piece, something he has explicitly said earlier in the interview that he knows nothing about, since he doesn't read blogs and can't name one.

Even if we assume he heard of it second hand, if he can't name the blog he is attacking for attacking him, then that makes him a weak journalist for not checking his sources.

The Boiled Sports piece is right, he is lying, and in a bunch of places, but the story is not that Stuart is a liar, it's that he is entirely consumed with himself, a condition that leads to lying 100% of the time. He's a namedropper and desperate for validation and that is just pathetic. Despite his coolness akin to the reverse side of the bed linens, he doesn't get that sports fans just want it to be about the sports, not the people that bring us the sports.

And hiding behind your daughter, dude that's not cool.

Stuart Scott and his out of town friends from here.