Cowboys Decision Bad; Options Worse

This place will eat your soul Wade. That's ok Bill, I'm a little light in the soul department anyway.

The Cowboys finally shit and got off the pot: Wade Phillips, son of Houston Oilers coach Bum Phillips, has been named head coach. Norval Turner was the only other serious candidate in a group that included Mike Singletary, Ron Rivera, Gary Gibbs, Jason Garrett and Jim Caldwell. As a Redskins fan, I'm very happy about this hire because I think Jerral W. Jones has completely mismanaged the process that produces the most influential person associated with the team. Jason Garrett was brought in as a possible head coach but not really and now Wade Phillips, a defensive guy, is coaching.

Let's walk through the 2007 Cowboys: Jason is brought in to be the head coach, or offensive coordinator, or head coach. He has two years of coaching experience and has never been a coordinator or called plays, much less coached a whole team. Norval, who was at one point coach of the Redskins before that storyline was retconned out of the timeline, has history and a Super Bowl ring with the Cowboys, but Mike Nolan, the 49ers head coach and Norval's former defensive coordinator in Washington, reeeeeally needs Norval to stay on as offensive coordinator, so much so that the 49ers offered Norval a big raise to stay. Norval coaching in Dallas would have been a dicey proposition in the first place because Norval is his own offensive coordinator and Jason would have been little more than he was in Miami, the QB coach. And if I were Norval, who's been a good coordinator and a disappointing head coach everywhere he's gone, I'd want to leave it alone in Dallas and let history remember me with the Super Bowl teams rather than the guy that came back, was mediocre and then run out of town.

Ron, Mike, Gary and Jim were also-rans and I don't think Jerral W. Jones was ever serious about hiring one of those guys. As lifetime Eagles fan, season ticket holder and Curly R reader/lurker Wilbert Montgomery says, and I agree with him on this point, Jerral W. Jones is back where he was after Jimmy Johnson left. He doesn't really believe anyone but him can make this team a success, so he's going to make a series of ego-hires lasting the next three to five seasons, and the team will never be very good. This is excellent news for my Redskins and his Eagles.

This is not to dog Wade Phillips. He has a winning record as a head coach, I just don't see him as a bold choice. A'course he'll come in and coach the team, but let it be well known that Jerral W. Jones is in charge, and I'll bet Wade and Jerral W. Jones have an understanding in this regard. Wade will get nominal run of the defense and Jason, at Jerral W. Jones' behest, will run the offense which will be interesting because Jason has never called plays.

Now, I must come up with a catchy name for my new regular feature for the 2007 season, watching as Terrell Owens turns Wade, Jason and the entire Cowboys team into his personal cabana bitch. Recommendations welcome in comments.



Bill Parcells and Wade Phillips from here.