Would you like fries with your 5-11 season?If you needed another reason to avoid fast food, here's an excellent one. The Washington Post is reporting that robber baron and Redskins owner Daniel Snyder has purchased Johnny Rockets, the noisome, vaguely 50's-themed fast food joint with the singing and dancing wage slaves employees.
(Curly R aside: what's the point of forcing the workers at places like Johnny Rockets to sing while they work? Do the owners of these shmaltz-peddlers think that I want to hear a bunch of teenagers grudgingly sing hideously corny songs? I just want to eat my soggy burger in peace among the grease-stained paper and faux chrome.)
According to the Post article, Snyder plans to dramatically increase the number of Johnny Rockets (Rocketses?) by an incredible 1,000 stores over the past five years. This number becomes even more hilarious when we learn that the chain has added only 65 locations over the previous five years.
Snyder plans to fuel this rapid growth in part by installing smaller Johnny Rockets outlets at Redskins home games and at Six Flags amusement parks, the other large piece of Snyder's burgeoning corporate empire. While this fusion of brands makes sense for Snyder and his partners, the acquisition and planned expansion of a fast food chain seems to be yet another extremely risky investment.
Headlines about the health risks of fried foods are more prevalent than ever at a time when Americans seem to be at least outwardly preoccupied with leading healthier lifestyles. If Snyder has millions to spend on the acquisition of a brand, why would he spend that money on something with such a negative connotation? Can there really be that much money to be made in the hamburger business? Why doesn't Snyder invest in something truly lucrative like defense contracting or oil and gas?
Snyder's purchase of Johnny Rockets is only the latest in a string of higly puzzling investments. The Redskins' owner bought controlling interest in the Six Flags amusement park chain in 2005 despite the fact that the chain owed $2.1 billion in debt and had lost money every year since 1998. The same could be said for his puzzling 2006 decision to partner up with Tom Cruise's production company at the absolute nadir of the actor's public and film industry support.
All of these non-football business decisions underscore what has seemed to be Snyder's philosophy for the team: take huge risks and sort out the consequences when they arrive. It is not unreasonable to look back at the Steve Spurrier hiring, for example, and draw a connection to the Six Flags purchase. Both were big risks that were taken when safer alternatives could have been chosen. When I think of the Johnny Rockets purchase I think of the decision to bring Joe Gibbs back: everyone loves hamburgers, and everyone loves Gibbs...it's bound to be a success, right?
A new Johnny Rockets is preparing to open right down the street from me. I wonder if the employees will be singing the Redskins' fight song along with the oldies?
Johnny Rockets logo flipped from the Junk Food Blog; Redskins logo scalped from sportslogos.net
(Curly R aside: what's the point of forcing the workers at places like Johnny Rockets to sing while they work? Do the owners of these shmaltz-peddlers think that I want to hear a bunch of teenagers grudgingly sing hideously corny songs? I just want to eat my soggy burger in peace among the grease-stained paper and faux chrome.)
According to the Post article, Snyder plans to dramatically increase the number of Johnny Rockets (Rocketses?) by an incredible 1,000 stores over the past five years. This number becomes even more hilarious when we learn that the chain has added only 65 locations over the previous five years.
Snyder plans to fuel this rapid growth in part by installing smaller Johnny Rockets outlets at Redskins home games and at Six Flags amusement parks, the other large piece of Snyder's burgeoning corporate empire. While this fusion of brands makes sense for Snyder and his partners, the acquisition and planned expansion of a fast food chain seems to be yet another extremely risky investment.
Headlines about the health risks of fried foods are more prevalent than ever at a time when Americans seem to be at least outwardly preoccupied with leading healthier lifestyles. If Snyder has millions to spend on the acquisition of a brand, why would he spend that money on something with such a negative connotation? Can there really be that much money to be made in the hamburger business? Why doesn't Snyder invest in something truly lucrative like defense contracting or oil and gas?
Snyder's purchase of Johnny Rockets is only the latest in a string of higly puzzling investments. The Redskins' owner bought controlling interest in the Six Flags amusement park chain in 2005 despite the fact that the chain owed $2.1 billion in debt and had lost money every year since 1998. The same could be said for his puzzling 2006 decision to partner up with Tom Cruise's production company at the absolute nadir of the actor's public and film industry support.
All of these non-football business decisions underscore what has seemed to be Snyder's philosophy for the team: take huge risks and sort out the consequences when they arrive. It is not unreasonable to look back at the Steve Spurrier hiring, for example, and draw a connection to the Six Flags purchase. Both were big risks that were taken when safer alternatives could have been chosen. When I think of the Johnny Rockets purchase I think of the decision to bring Joe Gibbs back: everyone loves hamburgers, and everyone loves Gibbs...it's bound to be a success, right?
A new Johnny Rockets is preparing to open right down the street from me. I wonder if the employees will be singing the Redskins' fight song along with the oldies?
Johnny Rockets logo flipped from the Junk Food Blog; Redskins logo scalped from sportslogos.net
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