Monday, October 29, 2007

Don't Tase Me Bro


Takeaway drill: the Redskins were pummeled on both sides of the ball; the Redskins were dominated on offense and defense; the Redskins were unable to stop the Patriots or generate scoring of their own; the Patriots are a dark vision of the end of times.


Monday walkthrough: the Redskins were pulled from their homes, stripped naked, chased through the town square, beaten and made to eat dog food 52-7 in Foxborough, that's naut how we do it Fayehfax. Patriots linebacker Mike Vrabel was himself more productive than the entire Redskins team. This is a dog whipping kind of loss.

The Redskins got the ball to start the first quarter and only could drive 36 yards before punting. It looked as though the Patriots were in the Redskins huddle, each time Jason Campbell passed the ball the play was contested. The Patriots took it and spent a leisurely seven minutes driving for a touchdown on a Tom Brady scramble. On this drive Carlos Rogers hurt his knee making a tackle and did not return to the game (see Omnibus below for more). The quarter ended 7-0 Patriots after each team traded punts.

Things did not get better in the second quarter as the Redskins managed 56 yards and no points and the Patriots managed two touchdowns and a field goal, one of those TDs going to linebacker Mike Vrabel who had come in eligible on the heavy package. The lone bright spot for the Redskins this quarter was Phillip Daniels sacking Tom Brady on 1st and 10, he fumbled and Andre Carter recovered. The half ended 24-0 Patriots.

It went from worse to downright crappy in the third quarter as the Patriots took 7 and a half minutes on their first drive, scoring a TD Tom Brady's second QB rush. ON the ensuing Redskins drive Jason was sacked by Mike Vrabel whereupon Roosevelt Colvin scooped it up and ran 11 yards for a touchdown. The quarter ended 45-0 Patriots, and under the fading sun in the growing chill of an outdoor tiki bar a neighbor wondered aloud what would happen if the Redskins simply threw in a towel and went home.

K-Billy super sounds rolled on into the fourth quarter as the Patriots went on an eight minute drive and scored on a Tom Brady to Wes Welker two yard pass. This drive featured Tom Brady going for it on 4th and 1 from the Redskins seven up by 45 points where a field goal to extend the lead to 48 points would be called for. The Patriots managed another score when Tom Brady in training Matt Cassel came in on mop up and scored another QB rushing TD. The Patriots were not completely rude hosts, allowing the Redskins to score a 15 yard Chris Cooley TD catch from Jason Campbell to end the game. Final score 52-7 Patriots.


Soapbox: the Redskins, at least their fans and coach Joe Gibbs know all about this kind of game, the Redskins were on the delivery end of an 11-0 start in 1991 and when you've got it going it is an incredible thing to watch. The Patriots stuffed the Redskins everywhere, Mike Vrabel alone had three sacks causing three Jason Campbell fumbles, each recovered by the Patriots. Jason was intercepted once and playing from behind from the first drive the Redskins were ultimately held to 47 rush yards on 16 attempts.

It was pathetic how easily the Patriots put the Redskins in their cage.

And what is the deal with the Redskins and the failing headsets? Yesterday was the third time the team has had problems with communications between the booth, the sidelines and the field, previously against the Eagles and Packers. It's about time to get out a Sherlock Holmes' opium ball, go into a three day trance and figure out whether all the other teams are targeting the Redskins or if the team's technical personnel are complete boobs and can't set shit up right.

I don't really think there is any such thing as running up the score in the NFL, a lesson I really learned playing EA Madden 92. You don't think I should be trying to move the ball and score up by three touchdowns? Then stop me bitch. Bill Belichick is keeping alive the dream of all football fans, to be sullen, awkward, attired inappropriately, cold, distant and supremely successful.


Chattering class: Les Carpenter kicks it off with a brutal realization, the Redskins just are not that good. Hell the Giants made the playoffs at 8-8 last season so it's not time to pack it in and start hating on the team but inconsistency and now abject weakness in the face of superiority have become de rigeur. He also has the now-obligatory front page A section piece on the game, sandwiched betewen stories of love thwarted in the US Visa process and American weapons being used in Mexican drug cartel killings.

Dan Steinberg departs from the funny bunny the Sports Bog for some real shit:

Witness [the Patriots'] record (8-0), their margin of victory (25.5 points per game), their 30 touchdown passes (to 10 allowed). Consider their 79-7 scoring advantage in the first quarter, their 2.25 punts per game, their 48.8 percent success rate on third downs.


Sally Jenkins is writing about Tom Brady and his football instincts, but it comes out more like football porn:

...[Tom Brady's]taste for scoring impossible to satisfy. Deep in the fourth quarter, he was still lunging for the end zone.

Does it qualify as manlove if it's a woman writing it?


Omnibus: the Redskins are sure to drop in defenive rankings, they were number five overall at about 280 yards per game and let the Patriots roll up 486 yards to the Redskins' 224 yards. Jason Campbell got blowed up and the Redskins were as low key in praise as they were in prep.

Carlos Rogers' injury (op. cit.) in the first quarter initially looked to me like a shoulder injury, like his body was whipping around and his flailing arm caught the turf but on review he turned his knee, so far we do not know exactly how bad it is but it is looking like a 'significant' sprain to the MCL with strain or sprain to the ACL. The Redskins well may be without Carlos for some time.

The Patriots have outscored opponents 79-7 in the first quarter this season. Also, Patriots linebacker and superhero Mike Vrabel has two more touchdown receptions (two) than the entire Redskins corps of receivers (zero).

The last time these two teams played the Redskins won and the Patriots went on to win 15 straight on the way to Super Bowl 38. The Patriots then ripped off a 6-0 streak to open the 2004 season.


Area 51: Sean Taylor and LaRon Landry were both busy, with the running game smashing through the linebackers they seemed to be in every scrum. LaRon finished with ten tackles (op. cit.).

Freddie Your Cruise Director: Fred Smoot was inactive with that pesky hamstring but Loveboat Freddie said he could have gone (op. cit.). With Carlos Rogers going down in the first quarter (op. cit.) and not coming back maybe the team should have listened and at least left him on the active roster just in case. Leigh Torrence was pressed into service and it wasn't really Leigh's fault that the opposing quarterback was Tom Brady.

Washington Post recap, box score, play by play. NFL recap, box score, full play by play, Gamebook (PDF), photos.

Other recaps: Hogs Haven (now with 100% more anger at the Fox dancing football robot), The Redskin Report (smartly recognizing all the pressure on Jason Campbell came from the right side), Anthony Brown at Hog Heaven, Bram Weinstein at Covering the Redskins.

Up next (op. cit.), the 1-7 New York Jets at Giants Stadium. The Jets are near the bottom in offense and defense and the fans are openly booing Chad Pennington (not pictured, that's Thomas Jones Wahoowa!).

Jason Campbell being sacked and fumbling: Jim Rogash / Getty Images from here. Thomas Jones and his big guns: JetsInsider via here.