Albert Haynesworth: I DID NOT EMOTIONALLY ABUSE THAT STRIPPER

SO. MUCH. WIN.

The intrepid journalists at TMZ, a celebritology media property taking its name from the thirty mile radius or zone around Hollywood in which the largest movie studios built their empires, found me today and wanted to share a story. A story about our friend and defensive lineman Albert Haynesworth.

Redskins fans already know about this, back in February in the days leading up to Super Bowl 44 Miami, Albert allegedly met a stripper from Brooklyn, they began what is euphemistically referred to as a relationship, when the woman first announced she was pregnant, according to her, Albert promised to support her, emotionally and financially. Surprise surprise, Albert broke it off before February was over.

In May, when the woman was four months pregnant meaning now she is somewhere around seven months pregnant and will be giving birth in the first month of the season, she sued Albert for ten million dollars, citing a lack of financial support. The brief Redskins Insider piece on the lawsuit indicates a quote assistant unquote of Albert's suggested the woman go visit an NFL doctor, which to this expectant mother must have been like asking sit back for a transvaginal ultrasound with a ferret.

According to a TMZ piece in May, Albert has acknowledged having sexual relations with that woman, swears he wore protection. *chuckle*

Now Albert's lawyer is quote fighting back unquote. Quote going on the offensive unquote, according to TMZ, Albert through his lawyer claims he never emotionally abused that stripper after he learned she may be carrying his child, and that the ten million dollar lawsuit should be dismissed because even though that emotionally unabused stripper may feel aggrieved, she does not actually have a legal case, principally because she has yet been unable to prove the child is Albert's.

Looking forward to more details and the results of what must be a forthcoming DNA test.


Just another great week to be Albert Haynesworth.



Albert Haynesworth: AP photo from here.