Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Defending the Family Honor

Yes Jackie I do know who your father is

I have in this space lamented the absence of the Jack Kent Cooke joie de vivre in Washington, Dan Snyder and his clan is so hum drum compared to the good old days. With JKC we had cocaine, family shootings and a hotblooded psychotic wife. With Dan it's abusing nannies and cutting down trees (op. cit.). Talk about boooorrrrring.

Well now looks like we may be one step closer to getting back some of that old Jack Kent Cooke magic.

Jack Kent Cooke's daughter Jacqueline Kent Cooke was arrested last Friday morning or rather in party terms it was still Thursday night for being a drunken idiot with a very large sense of entitlement and a very small amount of common sense.

But first, let's travel back back back in time to January 2007 when we learned the Jackie was suing JKC's estate for 275 million dollars, over JKC's executors withholding funds for her education and living expenses. Jackie claims JKC's executors deleted verbiage from the will that if left in would have entitled Jackie to an all expense paid life with 50 thousand dollars a year walking around money, instead of what she gets, which is 50 thousand dollars a year to live on period, and which is not bad just being alive.

Due to her lack of funds and apparent inability to get loans against her future millions (op. cit.), Jackie had to drop out of Southern Methodist University, then got an offer of admittance and assistance from George Washington University, then worked it out with SMU.

Now it's summer time when college students traditionally travel the country and the world to find themselves, some travel to poor countries to build alternative housing, some take an internship or work to put money in their pocket for next semester and some just lay around the pool.

And then there's the cheapskate rich girl with the bad attitude. Apparently Jackie and a friend went out after work and had a quote few unquote drinks at South Street Diner, a popular spot in Boston Massachusetts and stayed until 5am (the place is open all night) then walked on the tab. First mistake.

According to the police report, the waitron followed Jackie and her friend into the lot where Boston's finest were on station as is no doubt the standard for an open all night bar. Jackie and her friend told the tron and the officer they had quote forgotten unquote to pay the tab and went back in and paid. In the course of paying that bill, the keys to Jackie's BMW motorcar fell out of her purse or she dropped them, something that was witnessed by the officers. Second mistake.

The officers then asked Jackie if they had driven and she lied and said they had not and then lied and denied the BMW right next to them in the lot was hers. Third mistake.

The officers suggested the ladies take a taxi. The ladies then walked away but the officers saw them return and walk toward the car. The officers asked them if they had the keys and one of them responded that that woman's brother had the keys and would drive them home. They then walked away whereupon the officers noticed the ladies peering at them from around the corner down the street. The ladies steeled themselves and returned to the car. Fourth mistake.

When confronted by the officers again, Jackie told the officers it was useless for them to keep watching the ladies because she was going to get in her car and go home. The officers again suggested a taxi whereupon Jackie walked into the street, mooned the officers and flipped them the bird. Fifth, sixth and seventh mistakes.

The officer in question urged her once more not to and then she did start up the car and was arrested. In the course of being processed through the arrest, Jackie played the do you know who my father is card, threatened to use her one billion dollars to have the officers sacked (JKC had a billion when he died, Jackie got a five million dollar trust), refused a breathalyzer test and last but gloriously not least called one of the officers gay. Eighth, ninth, tenth, eleventh and twelfth mistakes.

The story merited all of two paragraphs in the Washington Post, the troubled daughter of one of the most enduring figures in all of modern Washington.

On a more serious note I hope this woman chills out or gets some help or she will not be around to get that trust fund.

Hat tips to readers marie, Hmm and Anon3 for the heads up, thanks a lot, I'm relying on readers to help keep me current until I get it back together.

Jacqueline Kent Cooke mugshot from here.