Tuesday, December 22, 2009

No One Came to Play Tonight

Noted without additional comment

Takeaway Drill: A giant embarrassment, pun intended, there was no offense, no defense and most definitely no sane special teams; this is what it looks like when the Redskins try against a playoff team.

Quick jump to

Monday Walkthrough :: Soapbox :: Chattering Class :: Omnibus Spotlights :: Recaps and Stats

Monday Tuesday Walkthrough: Hands down the worst game performance of the two year Jim Zorn experiment as the New York Giants beat the tar out of the Redskins, again and again and again, 45-12, a thirty-three point blowout, to drop the Redskins to 4-10 and two merciful weeks until the end of the 2009 season. The Redskins are now 0-3 in the burgundy on burgundy uniforms.

The Redskins won the toss and deferred to the second half, New York gets the ball to start the first quarter, the Giants first possession moves in small chunks but moves nonetheless easily down the field on a nine minute, sixteen play drive to put New York up 7-0. Washington gets the ball for the first time on a short kickoff fielded by Chris Wilson, luckily former 400 pound man Mike Williams was there to fall on Jason Campbell's third down fumble and the Redskins are punting. New York's second drive is two good defensive downs then of course a third down pass to Steve Smith for a first, on the next play LaRon Landry whiffs epically on Hakeem Nicks, the Giants run their 25th play to give New York first and goal and that is where the first quarter ends with the Giants leading 7-0.

New York continues its second possession into the second quarter on first and goal, on second and goal Ahmad Bradshaw walks in over left side for a touchdown, Giants are dominating in a 14-0 lead. Washington gets the ball for second time, a good Devin Thomas reception was nullified by a penalty yada yada punt. New York gets the ball for the third time and damn if that screen pass does not still work, the Giants move inexorably down the field, only a sack of Eli Manning by Albert Haynesworth saves the touchdown, Lawrence Tynes kicks a 38 yard field goal to put the Giants up 17-0 and it's getting away from Washington. The Redskins get the ball for the third time, still less than three minutes total time of possession, Jason Campbell gets creamed, then it's PUNT. New York gets the ball for the fourth time, Hakeem Nicks doses Fred Smoot for a 44 yard game then Eli tosses a corner fade to Steve Smith over Justin Tryon for a six yard touchdown and the Giants are running away with it, 24-0. The Redskins get the ball for the fourth time, the Redskins move from minus two to minus four yards then Jason Campbell finds no one on second down then has to run for the team's first first down, an intentional grounding penalty against Jason takes it all away and the Redskins are punting. The Giants get the ball for the fifth time, AND ZOMG IT WAS A THREE AND OUTS!!1! Washington get the ball for the fifth time with just over a minute left in the half, sack by Osi Umenyiora and Jason Campbell goes down and needs assistance on the sideline, Todd Collins warms up, then comes in as Jason Campbell heads for halftime early, only a false start penalty protects Todd from a jailbreak wipeout, Todd's first pass was 46 yards to Santana Moss, and the Redskins are in field goal range with less than a minute in the half, Fred Davis almost scores or turns it over, depending, then finds Antwaan Randle El to the Giants 20 and there are two seconds left, the Redskins line up in field goal then shift to a trick play, the Giants call a timeout then Washington runs the same play again, the ball is intercepted and the half ends 24-0 and the Redskins are embarrassing themselves and me.

The Redskins got the ball to start the third quarter, Washington's sixth possession and it's RUN ROCK RUN, the Redskins look like anthropologists in the jungle running from cannibals before Jason Campbell finds Fred Davis for an eleven yard touchdown but Graham Gano's extra point is blocked as the Redskins get on the board, 24-6. New York gets the ball for the sixth time, it is another inexorable drive to success as every Redskins player you know gets beat before some guy named Derek Hagan catches a 23 yard touchdown as the Giants go up 31-6. The Redskins get the ball for the seventh time, on first and ten Jason Campbell drops back, pump fakes and tosses to... no one on his right, Terrell Thomas intercepts the ball and takes it in fourteen yards for the touchdown and the Giants are winning in a laugher 38-6. Washington gets the ball back, it is their eighth drive, Marcus Mason is in the backfield, the darkness descends and I have to fight to pay attention, Marcus and Fred Davis team up and Quinton Ganther runs it in for the touchdown and the Redskins pull to within 26 points, 38-12 Giants. Graham Gano kicks off for the Redskins and Ahmad Bradshaw carries once in New York's seventh possession, and that is the end of the third quarter with the Giants winning 38-12.

New York continues their seventh possession to start the fourth quarter, two plays in there is a scrum on an in the grasp sack of Eli Manning, there was a scrum, Albert Haynesworth was assessed a bullshit penalty, the yada yada is the Giants score again, on a pass to Mario Manningham and New York leads 45-12. The Redskins get the ball for the ninth time, the memorable moment there is Jason Campbell's 20 yard scramble, the Redskins go for it on fourth down, sadly, and linebacker Chase Blackburn intercepts Jason Campbell and it is Giants ball in a game that will live in infamy. New York's eighth drive, they send in quarterback David Carr for mop up duty, blah blah and the Giants are punting. Washington gets the ball for the tenth time, I have totally lost the plot and here at home we are all arguing whether Jason Campbell will be remembered positively in Washington, the Redskins turn the ball over on downs. The Giants get the ball for the ninth time, it all seems academic, the Giants move into victory formation territory and that is that, the Giants win a giant blowout 45-12, the Redskins let us down on every level.


Soapbox: Boy did I get this one wrong. I never thought the Redskins were going to kill the Giants, I did think this game was going to be a defensive struggle, probably totaling less than forty points, the Giants have been inconsistent on defense and the Redskins seemed to be getting a rhythm on offense, if the defense could just get back where it needed to be this game could have been competitive.


What we saw tonight was what happens when a real team with real experience and a real roster has real playoff chances and really needs a win plays a team with brittle players, little professional depth and lame duck coaching. The string that is being played out is quickly unraveling and a dog is chewing at the ends.

On New York's opening drive, the Giants ran sixteen plays and held the ball for nine minutes, moving inexorably down the field, no quick scores on long touchdown passes over secondary players juked on simple stutter moves, nosiree, from the outset of the game the Giants dictated an in your face down your throat pace and Washington had no answers.

LaRon Landry aka LaRon Liability was again a featured mistake maker. He was burned again in coverage and at least twice we saw LaRon miss tackles, apparently going for a hit. The shoulder chip on Hakeem Nicks in the Giants second possession was just pathetic, Hakeem shook LaRon's hit off and kept going, he was like, was that a mosquito that hit me?

Eleven plays into the game and Albert Haynesworth was on the sideline. He can say whatever he wants about Redskins coaching and whether he has been used properly this season, and he may have a point. He is also a guy that missed three games and seems to get winded or dinged up way too easily.

And what can we even say about the blocking? Stephon Heyer came out at right tackle but was replaced at the half by former practice squadder Will Robinson, I do not even have the energy to make a Danger Will Robinson joke. The pressure came from everywhere on Jason Campbell and the Redskins had no answers.

And speaking of Jason Campbell it really is shame how he has been treated this season. From Mark Sanchez and Jay Cutler in April to five more sacks tonight and actually begging his coach put him back in the game. No one can be upset with Jason this season if his performance drops off here at the end, he has been beat to shit, keeps getting up, wants everyone in the world to see he can take it, he is not a prima donna and if his team wants to give him no blocking, well he can take that too. He called tonight the worst experience of his career.

And what was up with the most ridiculous special teams trick play ever tried in NFL history? The iconography of that play is destined to stamp this era of Redskins forever, we can only hope that quote this era unquote is coming to a merciless end with the arrival of Bruce Allen and the stepping back of Dan Snyder, and not continuing on like a bad arthouse movie.

This entire game was either the last failing gasp of a team that did not until tonight realize it really is bad after all, or a big giant fuck you, the players pissed off at the coaches, the coaches pissed off at ownership, backstabbing and secret deals everywhere.

Remember where you were tonight Redskins fans, we witnessed one of the lowest moment in the history of the team. Bring on season's end.


Chattering Class: I will bring you football tastemaker reaction to this game in this space.


Omnibus: Broadcasters: It is Monday Night Football so we get the ESPN team of Mike Tirico, Ron Jaworski and Jon Gruden, speculation will continue to swirl the rest of the season whether new actual general manager Bruce Allen will convince Jon to coach the Redskins… before he ultimately does not.

Uniform Watch: The Redskins for the third time are wearing the awful burgundy on burgundy combination, Washington is 0-2 in this combination and 0-1 on Monday Night Football, losing previously to the Steelers last season and at Dallas this season.

Buck buck number one: Albert Haynesworth is back, he will make a difference.

Say no to Chucky: As Redskins coach? DO NOT WANT!

Maroon and black: You would think with Jim Zorn's famous gaffe in his introductory press conference last season that he would not be so inclined to wear a maroon and black jacket.

Eleven plays into the game and Albert Haynesworth is already on the sideline.

Meet me in the hole: On second and goal in the Giants first possession, Giants tailback Brandon Jacobs took the ball up into the middle, London Fletcher met Brandon right in the hole for a dead stop, sadly though the Giants scored on the next play, which featured a flagrant facemask on Ahmad Bradshaw by London.

All in all that nine minute, sixteen play drive is exactly the reason the Giants own the Redskins these days, Eli is dead on in short range and the running game easily gets to the second level.

Gahh! On the Giants kickoff after that score it was a short kick that was fielded by linebacker/defensive end Chris Wilson, CHRIS IS NOT A GUY THAT SHOULD BE CARRYING THE BALL!

Oh, this was Jason Campbell's 50th start, I did not know that.

The Redskins first possession was high snap, tipped pass (first down), five yard run (second down), sack fumble (third down), punt. Football Munchausen by Proxy Syndrome: Mike Williams lets Justin Tuck come through and sack Jason Campbell for a fumble, then gets to be the hero and recover Jason's fumble.

As neighbor Paul noted after that first awful drive the broadcast did not even have time to get through the boilerplate and introduce the Redskins offense. Guessing we will see that in the second drive.

Giants first drive: sixteen plays, nine plus minutes. Redskins first drive: three and out.

LaRon Liability: In the Giants second drive, first quarter, Hakeem Nicks caught a short pass on second and five, LaRon Landry had Hakeem stopped short of the first down, Hakeem just stuttered and LaRon ran right out of bounds and Hakeem got the first down. Time to bench LaRon.

One minute nineteen seconds left first quarter and the Giants are already six for six on third down. First quarter stat on time of possession: fourteen minutes to one minute.

Nice vest douchebag, Dan Snyder in a banana yellow sweater vest in the owner's box, second quarter.

As predicted, the broadcast introductions of the Washington offense were delivered in the Redskins second possession, which happened to be in the SECON D QUARTER.

First time I realized Fat Albert was back in the game was when he was sacking Eli Manning in the Giants third possession, second quarter.

Workshop gamewrap titles: No One Came to Play Tonight; Boy That Screen Pass Sure Works; Some of the Worst Football I Have Ever Seen; Oh Snap, Guess What I Saw; Boy Was I Wrong About This One; Giant Embarrassment.

Nine plays, minus two yards, that is Washington's summary through three possessions.

LaRon Liability: Giants fifth possession, second quarter, second and ten, LaRon Landry just WHIFFS on Ahmad Bradshaw. Time to sit the guy down.

Epically stupid: The Redskins ran the same open gate play out of the field goal formation to end the half, rather than take the three and go to the half they tried not once but twice to run a trick play that ended up in a Giants interception and the Redskins were blanked at the half.

During halftime Mike Tirico said he had never seen so many bewildered looks in the pressbox.

Will Robinson came in at right tackle to replace Stephon Heyer to start the second half.

Man, the whole Redskins team cannot tackle Brandon Jacobs.

Get rid of Sellers: On Quinton Ganther's touchdown in the Redskins eighth drive, third quarter, Quinton ran wide and fullback Mile Sellers missed his block… again, it was only Quinton's feet that got him in the end zone. Bye bye Mike.

We heart Philadelphia: Snowballs from the stands made their first appearance in the Giants seventh drive, fourth quarter, on third and five Eli Manning was sacked in the grasp, Brandon Jacobs and DeAngelo Hall went at it, Brandon threw punches at DeAngelo, Reed Doughty pulled DeAngelo out of the play, Albert Haynesworth bulled his way into the scrum throwing punches, Albert was eventually assessed a personal foul, total bullshit, even Mike Tirico was flabbergasted. The Giants would go on to score on that possession.

This was one of the worst Redskins game I have seen, ever.


Shooter: Quarterback Jason Campbell took the field for his fiftieth start, and got the crap beat out of him, again. Jason was sacked five times, fumbled once and threw two interceptions, one of which was returned for a short touchdown. It is hard to fault Jason for a poor game, or for breaking down as the season winds down, he has been battered, has had no blocking and no doubt has to tell himself to keep on keeping on every day. I will bet a dollar his opinion of his team and how it treats him is different when no one else is around.

Fat Contract Albert: After missing his third game last week, defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth was back, and was promptly out of the game eleven plays in, no word on whether he was injured or it was just his usual union mandated smoke break. Albert also got involved in the fourth quarter scrum with Brandon Jacobs and DeAngelo Hall and got himself penalized. That Brandon was not assigned a penalty for swinging DeAngelo around by the facemask is outrageous but beside the point. After the game Albert ripped his coaches for not using him properly the season (op. cit.), combine those comments with DeAngelo Hall's urging of new actual general manager Bruce Allen to burn down the team and start over and we have clearance for the team finally to start consuming itself in a blaze of failure.

OH CRAPPO: Rookie hybrid defensive endbacker Brian Orakpo was neutralized in this game, the Giants gameplanned against him and fellow sack machine Andre Carter, even with one offensive lineman out and another leaving during the game. The frustration was visible on Brian's face in one shot on the sideline. Yes Brian, this is life with a bad team.


Washington Post recap, photo gallery. NFL recap, box score, full play by play, Gamebook (PDF), photos, video highlights.

Other recaps: Mark Newgent at Redskins Examiner,

Next up,

Jason Campbell getting the crap kicked out of him, yet again: AP Photo from here.