Thanksgiving Football Thread

The real fool is the one that gets between me and Thanksgiving football

Update: I have completed the itinerary of my day. I hope everyone had as action-packed a Thanksgiving as I.

I am sure no one is reading Redskins blogs today, but while I am stuck at my in-laws, I might as well make myself productive in a way that my wife would not necessarily agree is actually productive, which is to say writing for a blog instead of engaging in tedious discussion of people I don't know. Look, there's my wife now, taking a break from her own family to watch the Dolphins score. Joey Harrington looked good on that drive. Wow what a catch just now by Roy Williams.

FYI, I'm also blogmenting at Pride of Detroit and The Phinsider. Two weeks ago, Curly R traded 5 bye week questions with Pride of Detroit. You can read that here.

Riffing on an as-usual hilarious post at Kissing Suzy Kolber, I thought I would post up my Thanksgiving schedule as it has unfurled so far.

0245: stagger home drunk on bourbon from neighbor's house after playing Halo and Gears of War on Xbox 360 for 5 hours. Quiver in bed with eyes closed for three hours.

0630: kids wake up, come in try and wake me up; are unsuccessful.

0700: wife in shower, I am one-quarter awake, kids are already so hyper they appear blurred. There is something on TV, is it Jimmy Neutron? Maybe Jojo and her goddamn Circus? What I really need is three more solid hours of silence, cool and this comforter.

0715: no use fighting it, everyone else is up and dressed. Shower. For 30 minutes.

0745: eat breakfast, a thin gruel of blood and iron filings, or at least that's how it tastes.

0815: leave Alexandria for Charlottesville. Listen to satellite radio the whole way, but never move the dial off wife's choice (Sirius 18, The Spectrum). This is called 'paying it forward,' since I plan to watch football belligerently in four hours.

1100: arrive in-laws in Charlottesville. Kids are so happy to see grandparents and dog that they literally bounce, up and down up and down. Think about bottle of bourbon in travel bag, decide to wait.

1130: in-laws' dog is having attention anxiety with the introduction of two four year olds, and needs a walk, so wife and I walk the dog, a border collie. Three blocks from house, dog lays the most vile and soft bowel evacuation I have touched in ten years, and I changed two sets of diapers for two years. One more reason we are not pet people.

1200: return dog, crack bottle, a $13 bottle of Rebel Yell. Maybe teh best value at Virginia ABC. It's goooooooood.

1215: second bourbon. Kids are eating a little pre-nap snack. Take them upstairs for nap, wish I could get in and take a nap.

1230: football begins.

1300: there appear to be no running plays in this game. Wife wanders in to TV room, wonders why I am antisocial, which allows her to be antisocial for ten minutes.

1355: Thanksgiving dinner begins. Rolls, sweet potato pie with the little marshmallows, lima beans, mashed potatos, cranberry sauce, stuffing with gravy, light & dark meeeeeeeat.

1420: seconds. Concentrate on turkey, stuffing, taters and gravy.

1445: wander outside to play on tire swing with kids. They love it but I'm too full and it makes me vomit a little in my mouth.

1510: back to football. Miami has built a steady lead to 27-10, and there still appear to be no running plays in this game.

1520: discover comment on this growing post by Lee at The Redskin Report. Did not know he was Canadian. Lee, I have a friend that is always up for a green card marriage if you want to try and become a US citizen. But you'll have move to Massachusetts if you catch my drift.

1535: surrender computer to kids to practice interneting.

1645: regain computer but kids have commandeered TV to watch Cyberchase. Plot return of football.

1640: 4yr old #1 wanders over to me and says, "dad, I thought you were going to leave." Can take hint.

1700: leave in-laws with wife for hotel. As I look at my watch to note the time, observe I have not corrected for daylight savings time, which was a month and a half ago. I wear a watch, but use my phone as a timepiece; come to grips with being a jewelry-wearer.

1715: with a night off and no kids, cruise by movie theater adjacent to hotel; only showing Happy Feet (two screens), FLushed Away and Santa Clause 3: The Desperation of the Tim Allen. So lay up in hotel room and watch football.

1730: Tony Romo is awesome

1800: Tony Romo is awesome

1830: Tony Romo is awesome

1900: Tony Romo is awesome

1930: Tony Romo is awesome

2030: leave with wife in search of drink and football because, as noted above, the Denver -KC game is only on NFL Network. Fail in first attempt in only plac eopen on Downtown Mall, but stay for two bourbons.

2145: leave bar-with-no-football, go to Corner, find place with game. Get carded, which does not happen often anymore. Have a bourbon.

2200: wife discovers high school friends in upstairs bar, know where this is going, so switch over from bourbon to soda water with bitters and lime. Wife begins pounding Stella Artois with friends. Watch Denver-KC game over this group's shoulders, occasionally adding an 'mmhmm' or a chuckle.

2330: leave bar, pour wife into minivan. Back to hotel.

2345: force wife to drink two glasses of water, she passes out. Watch football highlights until midnight.

2400: sleep, knowing no kids for at least 12 hours.


Other Curly R Thanksgiving Football Threads: 2007 :: 2008 :: 2009 :: 2010



Foolball cards wacky sticker pinched from here.