Invasion of the Position Snatchers - Act Two

They're already here! You're next!

Curly R continues its fil treament in three parts.

Act One: Just Another Job
Act Two: They're Being Replaced
Act Three: We Are All Seahawks Now

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I don't know what they were doing to Reed Doughty but above my fear I was more determined than ever to unravel this mystery. I had just ducked into an old operating theater to ditch zombie Dan Snyder's goons but I was not alone in here. Closing the door I flip the light switch. Flickering fluorescents illuminate the room and my heart stops when I see.

Three operating tables. Three bodies, each covered in a sheet. I know this is an old section of the hospital. I know there cannot be any operations scheduled here. I know this cannot be a coincidence.

I approach body number one, it is motionless and I reach for the sheet, fully expecting the body to rise up and grab me in its deathly embrace. I pull the sheet back and to reveal...

Safety Mike Green! But something is not right, he is not all there. I look at the chart hanging from the operating table and look at his vitals, this chart says he was born December 6 1976, went to University of Louisiana at Lafayette and played six seasons, 2000 to 2005, in the NFL, all with Chicago.

I drop the sheet and move to the next table, body number two. I grasp the sheet, waiting for a cold hand to reach out. I pull the sheet back and...

Safety Mike Green! But this one is also not right. Looking at the clipboard chart hanging there it says same birthday as the other one, December 6 1976. But this Mike Green went to Northwestern Louisiana State University and only played one NFL season, 2007 with the...

I gasp. There it is again. 2007. Seattle Seahawks. That's two now, the new punter and this lifeless clone.

The shock is still dizzying when I approach body number three. This time I check the chart before I check the body and now I see. Safety Mike Green, the full history, same birthdate, Northwestern Louisiana State and with the full eight years of experience, including the last two with Seattle.

Seattle. The former home of coach Jim Zorn.

The punter? Once is random. Twice, is this a coincidence? Could two Redskins players mysteriously vanish only to be replaced by players, or something inhabiting the bodies of players from coach's former team? It seems insane but then again how do you explain what I saw them do to poor Reed Doughty?

Reed! Oh my god I have to get help. I turn to go but I can't. I have to see what is under the third sheet. I grasp the sheet in two hands, take a deep breath and tear it away!

There he is, Mike Green, wearing number 23, Marcus Mason's number. Lifeless and still. I bend down to examine the inanimate object, powerful in life and still in death, or at least the absence of life. My eyes cross the face... and the eyes open! The same lifeless dull eyes Dan Snyder had! And he is reaching for my throat!

Shrieking I run out of the operating theater, back into the emergency room and out into the night. There is no ambulance parked at the hospital.


Curly R's Invasion of the Position Snatchers concludes tonight with act three, We Are All Seahawks Now.



Shaun Alexander in his new Redskins number 37: Matt Terl from here. Title with apologies to a classic movie.