Look at me, I'm growing

From punkass bitch to enlightened veteran in three easy steps

Oh how the crude become profound. As if by some miracle Sean Taylor has radically transformed himself: training harder, eating better and *gasp* granting interviews.

Welcome to adulthood Sean. No that god-given body of yours won't hold up forever if you don't make an effort to keep it that way. Sean spends his offseason time in Miami going god knows what but you don't get the sense he's like Donovan McNabb, training at high altitude all summer, running with Goodyears strapped to his legs. Maybe he's not even doing tons of totaine. I have no evidence, but my anecdotal image of man-child Sean is eating a lot of hamburgers and fries, drinking a lot of soda and Cristal and sleeping a lot.

As for the media part someone finally clued him in that the media does not like media-unfriendly players in the NFL. Coaches, fine (Bill Belichick is a stick in the mud but they love him) but not players. It's a theory that Art Monk is not in the Hall of Fame yet in some part because he was not a media guy, did not seek out reporters (that was John Riggins and later Gary Clark).

Remember Michael Westbrook? He reacted to negative media attention by cutting them off and by the time he invited them back in to his big-ass house to see his personal movie theater and his martial arts dojo he was a laughingstock. He was not a good player and when it was reported that he was not a good player he sulked. Sean is not a respectful player and when it was reported as such he too sulked.

Here are the three steps to Sean's enlightenment:

Step one: be a punkass bitch

After being drafted, Sean did not return calls from Joe Gibbs and left the rookie orientation camp early. Then he was arrested for DUI then after his first year he was arrested for waving guns in Miami. Then in the Redskins first playoff game in six years was ejected for spitting on an opponent then lied to the coach about it.

Step two: wear out your welcome

Last season Sean started out the season drawing late hit and facemask penalties by the bushel and by the end of the season was a distracted player in a bad defense. It seemed to me as though he realized the season was lost and so he just went for the hit or ran into the play without looking and as the season wore on I saw him behind the play more and more. In the Pro Bowl he was decidedly unsportsmanlike, leveling AFC punter Brian Moorman with a cheap shot. George Solomon, editor emeritus of the Washington Post Sports section advocated trading him and Joe Gibbs could not find him in the offseason. There were rumors that he was unhappy with his contract (op. cit.), which runs until 2011 and wanted to get in on some of that money action the Redskins doled out to their crop of free agents before the 2006 season.

Step three: watch as a younger, more beautiful version of you gets drafted by your team into your position.

In April the Redskins used a high first round draft pick to select a big and hard hitting safety from a great football program. Sean in 2004? Yes but also LaRon Landry in 2007. Will Sean and LaRon make a great team? Yes, in fact they already have a nickname, Area 51, and the area between the hash marks is now known as the Graveyard. But they can get rid of Sean if they need to, promote or sign another safety and still have a solid defensive backfield. I don't view LaRon as a threat to Sean as much as an insurance policy.

Yes yes I know Sean has played with a lot of safeties next to him over his first three years but please, he's had the same coordinator the whole time and at some point he needs to grow up. I also think it was a bad idea to get rid of Ryan Clark but what's done is done, Sean would cut off Ryan's head with Michael Westbrook's samurai sword if it meant getting a fat new contract with 20 million dollars guaranteed.

I'm with John Keim at the Examiner, I'm not sure Sean if has really matured or merely his ability to listen to a PR flack's advice has improved.

That said, bring it Sean, go hit someone (legally).

Michael Pittman slugging Sean Taylor after Sean spit on him in the Redskins-Buccaneers 7 January 2006 playoff game from here.