Clinton's newest character: Whinyass McTittybaby
Clinton Portis truly is getting the Diva Treatment, right up to today's meltdown piece or more specifically the 'why do I get treated differently' piece. Every diva from Diana Ross on down to Lindsey Lohan gets to revel in the spotlight but when the glare gets cold they get to use that same media that glorified them to whine about why they needed an extra tour bus or why the littles disrupt their creative process or how after everything, they've learned to give back...in their hearts.
Clinton is lashing against some imagined multiple standard where if anybody else gets hurt, has a lousy season and then doesn't suit up for preseason we laud him as a hero but because it's him we attack him we revile him we defecate on his tulips.
Clinton, step back and take a deep breath. No one is attacking you. There are however legitimate questions about your upcoming 2007 performance and my concern is not that you are a pussy but that you are allowing yourself to be coddled and I surmise it's either because you are hurting and postponing a real test as long as possible or you got the soft treatment you bitched about last summer after you dislocated your arm and now you are doubting your own abilities, you are coming to grips with the notion that you are not ready for an NFL season.
Or a third possibility, you are really fine physically but are so self-absorbed, such a star all your life that the first time you get a hint of controversy you freak out and start wailing I thought you loved me now it's all shit!!
And I quote:
I don't know what they got against me. I don't know if it's personal. I don't know if they want to see me fail.
Dude step back from the ledge, you're the starting running back for the richest franchise in the richest pro sport in the country. If you are still stinging from reaction to your blithe ignorance of the abhorrence of dogfighting, try researching stuff before you open your piehole. It's call teh internets.
In 2004 you ran for over 1300 yards and had nearly 1000 more than the next back. In 2005 you ran for over 1500 yards, nearly 1200 more than the next back and set a Redskins team record for yards.* This team has been around since 1932 and you were the best ever over a season.
It appears the worst thing that could happen to you when you got hurt in 2006 was to have a good backup, that the team did not nosedive and spend the entire offseason floating your fragile and huge ego back where you think it belongs and no Redskins fan will apologize for Ladell Betts.
He paused and shook his head in disgust: "My feeling is, 'What the [expletive] do I got to prove to you?' "
Are you talking to Mike Wise or to me because if you are talking to me the answer is what have you done for me lately? It's a new season, the team is 0-0, you are the feature back so buck the fuck up my friend and carry the Redskins to glory.
Maybe Mike Shanahan got rid of you not just because he could replace you but because he foresaw the meltdown that presages the bad year that leads to the release that comes before your next big fat contract and signing bonus, it's been what, a couple years since the Redskins put a balloon payment in your pocket.
"People are going to believe what they want to believe, man," he said. "But for me to get hurt the way I got hurt, all of a sudden for people to think I got an injury problem or I can't do the things I used to do when I got hurt on some fluke [expletive] -- is just wrong.
Ok shhhh...no one thinks you have an injury problem. Running back is maybe the most grueling position in football and it wears you down. This team will move on and though no one wants it to be this season it has to happen eventually. Just like a Hollywood starlet hits 40 and wonders where all the leading roles went so it is with an NFL running back.
This one is the best.
"I got hurt making, probably, one of the best form tackles of last year. Just so happened it didn't count. I wasn't dogging it in the preseason. I listened to the doctors. Last year, I played and I got hurt. Whatcha want me to do?"
Not get hurt. So Clinton if credit for the greatest tackle of all times on Keiwan Ratliff is what you want then you can have it. Great hit. Too bad it dislocated your shoulder and ruined your season and mine.
Get hold of yourself, get hard, get in that uniform and kick ass on Sundays. Redskins fans are behind you, even me.
What you need is to go out there and rack up a demoralizing 120 yard game or break off a 70 yard run to score to get your mojo back and get back in character.
And if you can't, well we have Ladell Betts and Marcus Mason waiting to run up your back and down your front. But you didn't need me to tell you that.
* Source: 2006 NFL Record & Fact Book
Whiny brat: uncredited photo from teh internets
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