I Know the Master Chief and Brandon Lloyd is no Master Chief

But he is like a Microsoft product: crappy and overpriced

Brandon Lloyd came over in trade to the Redskins and got a 30 million dollar contract with 10 million dollars guaranteed. Having witnessed him in the 23 October 2005 game at Redskins Stadium I thought he was the best thing on that 49ers team and I confess that when the Redskins acquired him I was very excited.

We know how it turned out, he threw his helmet, was on the bench by the end of the season and tallied a whopping 23 catches as a starting receiver, one of the worst statistical performances ever in the NFL (op. cit.).

So far not any better for Brandon as Antwaan Randle El has become the number two receiver, and Brandon has tallied a grand total of zero catches in two games. With the team signing Reche Caldwell it seems to me that the string is there for Brandon to play out. He's effectively off this team no matter how upbeat and out of touch he seems.

So I open my paper yesterday and there is Brandon in the business section, Microsoft has chosen Brandon to try out Halo 3, the latest game in the awesome series about Master Chief fighting aliens in far off space. Microsoft outfitted Brandon's house with big screen TV's and his team of Redskins players duel online with teams of players from other NFL teams.

For Microsoft's part they may want to think about which players they associate themselves with. He may be popular in the rarified air of NFL lifestyles but to football followers he is a joke and this latest endorsement is one more step in his transformation into Anna Kournikova, a tennis player with great promise who by the time she stopped playing competitive tennis was better known for her endorsements and for which Russian NHL player was banging her at the moment.

And for Brandon's part, talk about tone deaf. Dude you are a Washington Redskin. You make huge coin and the team needs you and all you have done is piss moan and suck. No matter how cool you think you are you are a clump of football dogshit right now, drying in the sun by the roadside. Go win some games for us. To wit:

Lloyd called his advance look at Halo 3 the "number one" perk he's gotten as an NFL player.

We all know you guys are all rich and live in big houses and waste a lot of time given that you don't work year round but you're no John Riggins, I advise you to get a lot better at football before you start running your mouth to the newspapers about the things in life that are important to you other than football.

"Playing video games is such a major part of my life. This is what I do to unwind. This is what I do to be by myself and escape. I go in my game room and play video games."

I like video games too, in fact after I finish this post I'm going to the neighbors to play Halo 2 in advance of his Halo 3 arriving. However I might note that what Redskin fans want to hear you curling up with is a playbook and a DVD of the offense. I can imagine you reading this and saying, football is what I do, not what I am and that is the problem, you are a Washington Redskin. How did Tony Banks do in this town?

If there is a Master Chief on the Redskins it is Santana Moss.



Master Chief from here. Brandon Lloyd uncredited photo from here.