Blogger Deathsport: Week One Picks

Bloggers are to writers as sound engineers are to musicians

Monday update: filling in results so far, sitting on 9-5 going into tonight's games.

The inaugural week of picks in Curly R's season-long parlay with Hogs Haven and Post Game Heroes. Their week one picks are here and here.

By rule, Blogger Deathsport: NFL Pick'em uses the Yahoo Sports Wednesday lines so we are all picking against the same odds. Here are Curly R's week one picks:

Thursday game
NO @ IND (-6) (O/U 52.5)
Pick: Colts. The Saints will be good this season but the Colts are higher evolutionary.
Result: Colts. A 31 point victory by Peyton and the boys covers this margin.

Sunday games
NYG @ DAL (-5.5) (O/U 44)
Pick: Cowboys. Isn't it fucked up that Tiki keeps trashing Eli Manning (lol) and Tom Coughlin even though he still lives and works in New York? More proof it's all a put-on.
Result: Cowboys. It was a pleasure watching these mediocre-looking teams beat the hell out of each other with Dallas racking up a 10 point margin of victory.

DEN (-3) @ BUF (O/U 36.5)
Pick: Bills. Jay Cutler is still a newbie and the Broncos will have no answer for...oh who cares neither team will be great this season.
Result: Bills. Denver wins this game by a point but can't cover. Our thoughts are with Bills TE Kevin Everett who suffered a spinal injury, underwent emergency surgery and whose condition is very serious.

KC @ HOU (-3) (O/U 37.5)
Pick: Chiefs. Matt Schaub (Wahoowa!) may save that franchise but not this week.
Result: Texans. Am I the only one that thought there's no way KC could be that bad?

TEN @ JAX (-6.5) (O/U 38)
Pick: Titans. I think Jacksonville will win the game and not cover. David Garrard is an upgrade to Byron Leftwich like Windows ME was to 98.
Result: Titans. Tennessee wins outright in the battle of the shitty south.

ATL @ MIN (-3) (O/U 35.5)
Pick: Vikings. Early prediction: I pick against Atlanta every week.
Result: Vikings. Atlanta loses by three TDs, can't get into end zone. It's going to be a loooooong season for the Falcons.

NE (-6.5) @ NYJ (O/U 41)
Pick: Patriots. This was a tough one and Eric Mangini is a good guy and all but Bill Belichick will put a rusty shiv right into your skeevy heart.
Result: Patriots. Close game in first half then Tom Brady rips your gut open for a 24 point margin of victory. That dude is a greek god.

DET @ OAK (-1.5) (O/U 39.5)
Pick: Lions. Josh McCown? That's a good one.
Result: Lions. Detroit wins outright by 15 points. MATT MILLEND IS COMPLEYTELY VINDOICATED!!!!11!!1

PHI (-3) @ GB (O/U 43)
Pick: Eagles. The Packers are just there to get Brett Favre some records not win games.
Result: Packers. Green Bay wins outright by three as Eagles fail to address punt returns in preseason.

PIT (-4.5) @ CLE (O/U 36.5)
Pick: Steelers. Any larger spread and I would have taken the Browns.
Result: Steelers. Pittsburgh wins by 17, two tiny PGH bloggers exchange high fives in a small room that smells like baloney.

CHI @ SD (-5.5) (O/U 43)
Pick: Chicago. My upset special. Norval Turner learns some things, tries to get better.
Result: Chargers. Norval officially peaks as San Diego wins by 11.

TB @ SEA (-6) (O/U 41)
Pick: Seahawks. Buccaneers are carrying four QBs, they have no idea what to do.
Result: Seahawks. Seattle wins by 14 as Jon Gruden prepares to carpetbag it elsewhere.

CAR @ STL (-1) (O/U 42.5)
Pick: Rams. Toss-up goes to Steven Jackson.
Result: Panthers. Carolina wins outright by 14 in a game that featured something or other and two Steven Jackson fumbles.

MIA @ WAS (-3) (O/U 34.5)
Pick: Redskins. Note this is also the lowest overunder of the week. Bonus Curly R gambling tip: take the under.
Result: PUSH. Redskins win by three, no one gets pushes in this game.


Monday games
BAL @ CIN (-2.5) (O/U 42.5)
Pick: Ravens. Carson Palmer finds his inner David Klingler.
Results: Bengals. Kyle Boller couldn't hit the side of a barn.

ARZ @ SF (-3) (O/U 45)
Pick: 49ers. Another tough one, SF is the less bad.
Results: PUSH. This game had less offense than a Disney movie.


Results will be tallied Tuesday. Football is here bitches.



Sleipner wood guitar picks from here.